When you are in a stressful relationship with a partner, friend, somebody at work or a family member, you can find yourself distracted, insecure and a feeling of general low-ness. It’s an emotional stress that carries personal pain. These feelings are made all the harder by a confused mind or a heavy head. Too many thoughts to process? Too much emotion so rational thought is difficult? Hypnotherapy eases this stress by allowing the thought processes to look at these stresses in a different way. Of course it can’t take the stress away, nor can it fix the damaged relationships, but what it can do is manage the stress in a way that is not confusing, not manic, but rational and calm. So this stress no longer consumes your thoughts. You’re able again to regain control your life. Put yourself back in the driving seat and make rational decisions that are of positive benefit to your life.
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Many people spend a lifetime falling in and out of bad relationships. Fearing being alone and hoping that happiness can be found in the arms of a partner. The truth is that happiness comes from within, and without the ability to love yourself you will find it very difficult to accept love or even give love. This month we are going to tackle the tricky business of love. We are going to start by looking at our relationship with ourselves. How do we view ourselves? What perception do we give out to the world? Could we work harder at loving ourselves? In this manic 24/7 world we live in and with the rise of social media, it has become the norm to give out a positive perception to the rest of the world. How many times do you edit a photo before posting it to your wall? Do you spend time looking at the photos of friends and peers and wishing you too could be as happy or as perfect. Do you flip through the glossy magazines and envy the glamorous celebs and then beat yourself up because you don’t look that way? It’s very common and a lot more people than you think do it. However it’s time to break the cycle. If you must compare yourself to anyone don’t make a comparison with an airbrushed picture. Find somebody whose attitude to life is inspiring. True beauty shines through from within when you are happy. You give off a natural glow, a charm that people are attracted to. I would like you to try an exercise, beginning with looking at yourself in the mirror and finding three things that you like about yourself and say it out loud. ‘I have nice eyes’ or ‘my hair is really glossy’. Try looking again and remind yourself out loud what personality traits you have that are good. Saying these things out loud re-enforces your positive self-image. We all like to hear it and hearing it from yourself is just as good and can be even more meaningful. For more information about affirmations and how they can help you go to my web page and see my blogs. Becky For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Leave the old habits behind at the final chime and welcome in 2014 with new life changing habits31/12/2013 As Auld Lang Syne rings out at the stroke of midnight, many of us promise ourselves that this year is going to be the best year ever. Why do we fall back into those old bad habits time and time again? It’s all about believing in yourself. From there anything is possible. A good example is the gym. Around mid January we all head off to the gym to get fit, lose weight and make ourselves the healthiest we’ve ever been. A few weeks in, you’ve been invited out for a few meals with friends and missed a few sessions. You consciously think to yourself “Oh it hasn’t worked again, I’ll do it before the summer instead”. With hypnotherapy we work on making you confident enough in yourself to say ‘OK I’ve gone off the rails a bit but I’m back on the most amazing journey. I’m going to pick up where I left off right now and achieve all those goals I set for myself at the start of 2014’. So I guess what I am asking is ‘Do you want to go back to those same old New Year’s habits or take back your control and make 2014 and beyond get better and better?’. I know which I would choose. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Scientist says we are only born with a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. All other fears are learnt behaviours. In my work as a hypnotherapist, I often work with individuals who have fears through a learnt behaviour. The trigger doesn’t always have to be a physical experience. An example of this is the client that comes to me with the ‘What if’ or ‘I can’t because’ or the parent saying to the child ‘this happened to my friend’. The seed is then sown. With it being bonfire night there were a lot of loud fireworks going off. I discovered that my own year old dog had a fear of them. I do not know how, as I have only had her eight months. Initially on the first night, I think we probably heightened her fear by making a lot of fuss. Basically praising and therefore heightening her negative awareness of the noises. So what did I do? I encouraged her to relax in the situation. No I didn’t give her hypnotherapy. We used a plug in diffuser and a jacket called a thunder jacket (reminded me of the hug in mug advert). When working with a client I find the art of relaxation gets bypassed and the ‘fight or flight’ controlled by our brains has kicked in before it actually needs to. There must be a lot of prehistoric mammals (otherwise known as memories) out there chasing us. Working with my clients I know in heart that I cannot undo the past. What I work with them on is making ‘the now’ a moment they can control. A client recently came to me for a fear of loud noises, bad weather etc. I recently received a text from them telling me they’d heard a clap of thunder and jumped like any of us would, but that was all and had stayed perfectly calm after. I recently watched a fantastic video on UPWorthy about Happiness and being in the moment. Make 10 mins to watch it, it’s an amazing video. I love the little girl telling the story about standing at a door and then using her imagination to describe what may behind. How about closing your eyes right now and imagining opening that door. What colour door is it? s it a cool metal handle or just one you push open? I wonder where you’ve gone to? Whilst you're there really experience what’s behind it. If it’s outside feel the touch of nature. Wind, sun, water. If you’re in a room look around at the old photos, your favourite comfy chair. Who knows what’s in that room? Even allow your mind to subconsciously pick up and touch objects. Well done you just experienced self hypnosis. Take 10 mins after reading this to watch this great little YouTube video. I think you’ll enjoy it. http://www.upworthy.com/clear-your-next-10-minutes-because-this-video-could-change-how-happy-you-are-with-your-entire-week. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK We’ve all seen them, those pictures on social media sites and tattooed on the arms and backs of necks of mums and dads in the playground. Positive affirmations, positive quotes, sayings that are supposed to make us think and some on some web pages where they claim they can change lives. You don’t have to look very far to find one. I like them and further to that I do get involved in the sharing of some of these affirmations on social media. Only the ones that I truly can relate to, take from or think can be of use to a specific friend. It would seem that I am not alone but what are they for? What do they do? Do they do anything? I can’t honestly say that one single quote has ever had such a profound effect that I felt that my life was changed. However I have sought comfort in affirmations. An affirmation is a statement said with confidence about the perceived truth. The problem is these will only truly be successful if your brain is open to the suggestion of the concept presented to you. Imagine a child bouncing a ball. They will naturally bounce the ball with their strongest, more dominant hand. Ask them to swap hands and the natural and most common reaction of the child will be that they ‘Can’t’. However if the child were to practise and measure their success in the amount of times the ball bounces, I could almost guarantee that they will be able to do it and that the more they practice the better the result. So what does this have to do with affirmations? Affirmations can be both positive and negative. Negative affirmations such as ‘CAN’T’ are learnt. How you ever noticed that if you tell yourself you can’t do something, more often than not you won’t. Your brain knows that to be true. In order to then achieve this task you have to retune your mind and relearn that in fact you can. Repetition of positive affirmations can go some way to re-tune your brain. Hearing these positive messages out loud also makes a difference to the speed at which the brain recognises that concept or suggestion as right and true. My job as a hypnotherapist is to communicate with the part of the brain that learns behaviour. By talking directly to this part of the brain I can install positive affirmations that grow into life changing thoughts. For more information on how hypnotherapy works, what it can help with and some free relaxation videos, then check my website and sign up to my newsletter to keep up to date with all my latest news. And remember ….. You are your own unique self - special, creative and wonderful. With over 240,000 people trying to stop smoking for 28 days, the NHS-sponsored ‘Stoptober’ campaign is proving that smoking is a habit many want to kick. But is 28 days enough? The campaign is based on the idea that if you can stop smoking for 28 days you are more likely to stay a non smoker. This has not been proven. Nor, at this stage, has the controversial e-cigarette proved to be an aid to beating the habit. But hypnotherapy has. Using a hypnotic approach to allow you to stop smoking cigarettes usually means you are helped to get rid of the dependency entirely and stay cigarette and nicotine free. And e-cigarettes got their bit of bad publicity this month when shop assistant Michelle Capewell was ordered to leave the store where she worked after puffing on an electronic cigarette. The 41-year-old, who works at a photographic studio inside a Mothercare branch, was on the main shop floor when she took the device out of her pocket and had one drag. While e-cigarettes have their fans like Kate Moss and Leonardo DiCaprio, public health experts are sharply divided about e cigarettes, with some arguing they could substantially cut deaths from tobacco – of which there are 100,000 annually in the UK – while others warn they will only add glamour to smoking, especially among the young. Euro MPs added to the confusion this month by throwing out a European Commission proposal, supported by the UK’s regulatory authority, to treat e-cigarettes as medicines. E-cigarettes comprise a battery, atomiser and a cartridge containing nicotine, suspended in a solution of propylene glycol (the stuff from which theatrical smoke is made). When the user inhales, the solution is vaporised (hence ‘vaping’), delivering a nicotine hit to the lungs without the tar and toxins that would come from conventional cigarettes. One set of concerns has to do with safety and standardisation. The UK body that oversees the regulation of medicines, the MHRA, says e-cigarettes currently available do not meet appropriate standards of ‘safety, quality and efficacy’. Anecdotal reports point to dangers caused by variations in product quality, including facial burns after a vaporiser exploded in a consumer’s mouth. The US Food and Drug Administration has also found that nicotine doses vary between devices, and have been found to vary from the advertised dose on the label – while the ingredients in e-liquid are also not listed. Hypnotherapy is an excellent choice for people wanting a quick and effective way to stop smoking permanently. The National Council for Hypnotherapy’s marketing director Paul Howard says: “Changing the underlying beliefs that are held by smokers is key to changing the behaviours that underpin their smoking behaviours. Once this is done, clients find that it is much easier to stop smoking.” He said using a hypnotic approach to allow a client to stop smoking cigarettes usually means they are helped to get rid of the dependency entirely and stay cigarette and nicotine free. From Stoptober – myth or magic? Posted on 14th October, 2013 by NCH News How many times have you sat in a meeting at the office and, in your mind, been on that last beach holiday? Or walking around a local supermarket, remembering the last time you picked up that certain food and reminiscing about a night you had with friends or family. When people ask me to describe how hypnotherapy feels, I usually describe a daydream-like state as one of my comparisons. In a deeply relaxed state, the mind can be allowed to focus on making sense of everything that is going on around us. Kids are great daydreamers. I am sure most of you remember playground games, where you lived in a castle or were being chased by a dragon. I am not saying you have to go back to that daydream childlike state, but wouldn’t it be great to be able to take yourself away from it all, for a short period of time, to sort out what’s going on in the subconscious mind. You can with hypnotherapy. Think of it like a giving yourself a bit of ‘ME’ time. Pure self indulgence. Why not pop along to my show at the Chequer Mead on the 24th of September where I’ll be talking about taking ‘A Weight off your Mind’ or come and see me at the Sussex Women’s show on the 27th and 28th of September. If you would like to know more about healthy eating and how changing your mind about food can help you lose weight. Drop me a email becky@beckywells.com or give me a call on 07801 941949 For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK When you first hear the word ‘relationship’ you may automatically think I am talking about a lover, a partner or spouse. Relationships are more than this. We have relationships with all those around us, friends, family, the shopkeeper from the local shop that hands you your newspaper each day, and many others. If I asked you to create a circle with ten layers in it, each one numbered by how important you are compared to other people, I wonder where you would place yourself in comparison to them? Let me give you an example. You have been in a relationship for many years, so you would place yourself on the same circle as your partner. In a social situation you feel inferior to the opposite sex, reluctant to join in conversations, worried that everyone will laugh at some incorrect comment you may make. How about allowing hypnotherapy to help with gaining a whole new perspective on your social status? Some of the areas I have worked on with individuals are: Feeling an equal partner in a relationship Helping you to appreciate your own position in society. Everyone is important, no matter what or who they are. Helping you to open up, allowing other near them for future relationships, whether this is for friendship or a sexual relationship So let’s start today building that positive relationship you have with YOU first right now. Book in for my ‘A Weight of your Mind’ interactive weight loss seminar at the Chequer Mead Arts Centre in East Grinstead on the 24th of September. I’m giving a free group weight loss hypnotherapy session at the end of the event. http://www.beckywells.com/a-weight-off-your-mind-at-chequer-mead.html Or come and visit me at the Sussex Women’s Show, Brighton Racecourse on the 27th to 28th September. I will also be giving two 20 minute talks at this show. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK How many times have you watched those documentaries about kite surfers, scuba divers and wished you could do that? What’s stopping you from having a go? I know money can be a major factor, but is it your confidence stopping you take that leap? Someone once described their lack of confidence to me as a ‘brick wall’. They could hear what was going on over the other side of the wall but it was just a couple of layers of bricks too high to see over. So what I did, using hypnotherapy techniques, was to help them take off one layer of bricks at a time until they could climb over it. Then we rebuilt it, leaving those negative thoughts safely behind the wall as past memories. In this area we are extremely lucky in this area to have a company based in Brighton that specialises in amazing sports such as kitesurfing and scuba diving called http://www.planetkitesurfholidays.com.What this company does is tailor an adventure holiday for you. So if you want to kitesurf in the best locations around the world, they will arrange it all for you, from the flights to trips to making sure the less adventurous people in your group are catered for. They also have first hand experience of the locations which, as you know, is invaluable and a real time saver. So how about breaking down the metaphorical wall in front of you, taking a leap into the deep or learning how to fly without wings? So if you’d like a hand taking down some of those layers of bricks, why not give me a call? Book in for my ‘A Weight of your Mind’ interactive weight loss seminar at the Chequer Mead Arts Centre in East Grinstead on the 24th of September. I’m giving a free group weight loss hypnotherapy session at the end of the event. http://www.beckywells.com/a-weight-off-your-mind-at-chequer-mead.html Or come and visit me at the Sussex Women’s Show, Brighton Racecourse on the 27th to 28th September. I will also be giving two 20 minute talks at this show. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Some people in our lives encourage us to go out and explore. Others, though, may discourage us and hold us back from our dreams and goals. Or sometimes the doubting part of our mind takes over and prevents the true explorer within us from flourishing. Let me give you an example... You really want to lose weight but the doubting part of your mind says ‘I tried it before and I couldn’t keep it up’. Or maybe articles in the news and press are bombarding you, telling you that you can lose weight with this tablet or that diet. Well how about creating your own plan? How can YOU do that? I can help you take back control of the doubting part of you that kicks in every time you hit a bad patch on a diet or fitness regime. Occasionally you will fancy that cream cake when you’re on a diet. Don’t punish yourself for it, just allow your mind to realise it’s allowed an occasional treat. Think of your body and mind as an empty cupboard or maybe a cupboard with some out-of-date tins. What would you put back in that cupboard to restock for a healthy body and mind? Maybe an exercise tin or two, some healthy food tins and even the odd treat tin for one of those bad days that we all have occasionally. Hypnotherapy may be another one of those tins. Hypnotherapy allows your subconscious mind to work at it best. I have worked with many clients over the years, allowing them to throw out some of those unwanted out-of-date tins and replace them with fresh, new, motivational tins. With me you not only get a valuable hypnotherapy tin, you have the added bonus of a sports therapist tin too! So if you’d like a hand with your tin cupboard why not give me a call? Book in for my ‘A Weight of your Mind’ interactive seminar at the Chequer Mead Arts Centre in East Grinstead on the 24th of September. http://www.beckywells.com/a-weight-off-your-mind-at-chequer-mead.html Or come and visit me at the Sussex Women’s Show, Brighton Racecourse on the 27th to 28th September. I will also be give two 20 minute talks at this show. For more information please sign up to my mailing list at http://www.beckywells.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter.html The latest newsletter is here http://eepurl.com/Ds0TL I look forward to meeting you at the shows. Becky www.beckywells.com becky@beckywells.com . |
AuthorBecky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her. Archives
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