 Many people spend a lifetime falling in and out of bad relationships. Fearing being alone and hoping that happiness can be found in the arms of a partner. The truth is that happiness comes from within, and without the ability to love yourself you will find it very difficult to accept love or even give love. This month we are going to tackle the tricky business of love.
We are going to start by looking at our relationship with ourselves. How do we view ourselves? What perception do we give out to the world? Could we work harder at loving ourselves? In this manic 24/7 world we live in and with the rise of social media, it has become the norm to give out a positive perception to the rest of the world. How many times do you edit a photo before posting it to your wall? Do you spend time looking at the photos of friends and peers and wishing you too could be as happy or as perfect. Do you flip through the glossy magazines and envy the glamorous celebs and then beat yourself up because you don’t look that way? It’s very common and a lot more people than you think do it. However it’s time to break the cycle. If you must compare yourself to anyone don’t make a comparison with an airbrushed picture. Find somebody whose attitude to life is inspiring. True beauty shines through from within when you are happy. You give off a natural glow, a charm that people are attracted to. I would like you to try an exercise, beginning with looking at yourself in the mirror and finding three things that you like about yourself and say it out loud. ‘I have nice eyes’ or ‘my hair is really glossy’. Try looking again and remind yourself out loud what personality traits you have that are good. Saying these things out loud re-enforces your positive self-image. We all like to hear it and hearing it from yourself is just as good and can be even more meaningful. For more information about affirmations and how they can help you go to my web page and see my blogs. Becky For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK
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 How many times have you sat in a meeting at the office and, in your mind, been on that last beach holiday? Or walking around a local supermarket, remembering the last time you picked up that certain food and reminiscing about a night you had with friends or family.
When people ask me to describe how hypnotherapy feels, I usually describe a daydream-like state as one of my comparisons. In a deeply relaxed state, the mind can be allowed to focus on making sense of everything that is going on around us. Kids are great daydreamers. I am sure most of you remember playground games, where you lived in a castle or were being chased by a dragon. I am not saying you have to go back to that daydream childlike state, but wouldn’t it be great to be able to take yourself away from it all, for a short period of time, to sort out what’s going on in the subconscious mind. You can with hypnotherapy. Think of it like a giving yourself a bit of ‘ME’ time. Pure self indulgence. Why not pop along to my show at the Chequer Mead on the 24th of September where I’ll be talking about taking ‘A Weight off your Mind’ or come and see me at the Sussex Women’s show on the 27th and 28th of September. If you would like to know more about healthy eating and how changing your mind about food can help you lose weight. Drop me a email becky@beckywells.com or give me a call on 07801 941949 For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK The school holidays have only just begun and the kids are already running out of exciting things to do! Now some of you may know I was brought up in a small town called Crawley. My youth was spent playing in the local woods; climbing trees, playing hide and seek and generally enjoying myself without the aid of a computer console. What do I think this helped with as an adult? Well the greatest dreams were created in those times about my future. That local forest became my Narnia. As I stepped into the entrance of the park nothing else really mattered. We’d find trees to swing from and like elves from the forest other children would join in with the fun and games. We never thought about being bored, we didn’t have time. We were busy chasing away the fire breathing dragons or hiding from the invisible witch that lived down the black alley. Children these days are not always allowed to set their imagination free. As a hypnotherapist the daydream is a powerful tool. During a hypnotherapy session a client is encouraged into a relaxed daydream type state. Whilst relaxed the therapist encourages them to change how they view certain feelings or events in their life to a more positive way. So if you’re off with your kids this school holiday, why not relive your childhood? Show your kids how a forest such as Tilgate Park (http://www.crawley.gov.uk/pw/Leisure_and_Culture/Tilgate_Park/index.htm) in Crawley can be the place where their character is formed and their sense of independence is encouraged. And if you slay a few of your own dragons whilst you’re there, even better. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK   After seeing a couple of clients today, it reminded me why I think I am good at what I do. With all my clients, whether they are hypnotherapy, Personal Training or sports massage clients, I try to put myself in their shoes, so to speak.
No I don’t have some strange foot fetish before you start to wonder, I mean in the metaphorical sense. Let’s take, for example, a highly skilled executive that comes to see me. When I first met him he came across as bold, confident and sometimes quite abrupt. What I might find underneath is an unconfident introvert inside an extrovert shell. What I try to do with my skills is unravel the layers of protection that have been built up, a bit like an onion with its outer layer thickened by the environment. I help take the layers off one by one until I reach the centre, then, and almost as important, I help them to use those layers to make something even better. So if you would like a hand unpeeling that onion, I have the utensils to give you a hand. I’ll even give you a tissue if it makes your eyes water. As we know teardrops are made of 1% water  A little bit of sunshine and you just feel so much better. What can be better than going for a walk in the countryside with the sun on your face and wildlife appearing from behind every tree? There is something quite magical about a large deer suddenly running from behind a tree nearby then stopping to look back at you, just to check, before heading off further into the woods. If you stop for long enough you suddenly notice that that branch is made up of hundreds of shades of browns and other colours. As you do this you forget momentarily to remember about all those other things that were so important before. When I’m doing hypnotherapy, clients describe that point when they come out of the trance-like state as the same feeling. What I try to do, as I build up the sessions, is make this a feeling they can access whenever they need to. So if you can’t go out and stare at tree for hours, why not try hypnotherapy instead? Becky www.beckywells.com 07801 941949 becky@beckywells.com 
 Snow had covered the Ashdown Forest as I drove through it this morning. The trees formed a white tunnel over the road and the grass was a blanket of white. Who knows what colours hid underneath, reds, purples, greens, maybe all the colours of the rainbow.
When I work with clients, I like to start out with a blank canvas in front of me. Firstly I’ll put the background in (their past history), and then the main focus (the client), finally I put in all the scenery and objects around them (their goals, ambitions and objectives). So from that blank canvas I try to help create a perfect masterpiece for that person sitting in front of me. So if you want help creating that perfect canvas, let me help you by handing you a few paints brushes to try out your colours. Becky www.beckywells.com / www.payitforwarduk.net 07801 941949 becky@beckywells.com  A rainy Sunday afternoon is a perfect time to relax and watch the afternoon movies on TV.
Our minds are quite amazing pieces of equipment. I noticed whilst watching the films this afternoon, that my subconscious mind was busy suggesting to itself what it would do in a similar situation. I believe hypnotherapy works in the same way, you preoccupy the conscious mind using relaxation and while it’s distracted, allow the subconscious to open up and absorb beneficial information. What can hypnotherapy help with? What about habits. What about personal and business confidence? The answer is yes for these and many other issues. Do you have to believe in hypnotherapy for it to work? No. It can still work, the only important thing I will establish is that the client is having hypnotherapy for themselves and not to please someone else. So if you’d like to take a time out with beneficial effects, give me a call and I can talk to you ‘while you were sleeping’. Becky www.beckywells.com / www.payitforwarduk.net 07801 941949 becky@beckywells.com  Do you live your life with memories of the past? Or use them to your advantage to make the future even better? Things that have happened in our past will always be part of our history but what we really want to be able to do with that knowledge is allow it to make us stronger individuals, able to face similar situations but with more positive outcomes.
Do you find yourself dwelling on past events and blaming them for everything that happens in the here and now? Hypnotherapy may help you to put those memories back where they belong, on a bookshelf, to use as a reference tool for the future. As Salvador Dali once said “Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali.” I wake up looking forward to be me every day and wanting to help you discover that same feeling. If you want help to stack up those metaphorical books on the bookshelf, give me a call. Becky www.beckywells.com / www.payitforwarduk.net 07801 941949 becky@beckywells.com  Such a small word, but it can make a huge difference to how you go about your daily life. For example “if I go out and talk to that chairman of the local women’s group, I may create a whole new network of links”. In comparison to “When I go and see the Chairman, I will form new networks”.
The self-doubting “if” is like a little nagging gremlin on your shoulder saying ‘what if they don’t like me; what if I can’t answer the questions they throw at me?’. I always go with the ”when”. ‘When’ I go to that meeting I know that I have a great foundation of knowledge from inspirational sources. I do not know everything and I know I am not expected to. I like my head to be small enough to still fit through a doorway. I also go there expecting to absorb more information from those I meet to make me an even better therapist. In the career I have chosen I always expect to learn, and I don’t mean from textbooks or courses. Take time to observe the people you work with, my job is never going to be 9-5 and to be honest. I’d have no idea what to do with my spare time if that was the case. Be a listener… be a ‘When’ person… not an ‘if’ person. I look forward to bumping into you ‘When’ our paths cross because I know they will. Becky For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK www.beckywells.com / www.payitforwarduk.net 07801 941949 becky@beckywells.com  I always feel like one of the ants in 'Bug’s Life' when I head up to Central London like I did today. We all pile out of the train, follow a set route down the platform, back down another set of steps, down the escalators and into a shuttle which sees us doing this all in reverse. If your tube stop is suddenly closed, you see people’s anxiety levels rise before they head off on another, yet untested, route. A bit like life really? We go to school until 16 or 18, then maybe higher education or straight into work. How can most of us know, when we choose our life’s destiny at 16, what we really want to do? Some may, but a lot of people I speak to say “I trained and worked in this job for 20 years or more”. 'Are you happy' will be my next question? 'No' is quite frequently the answer. Now in 'Bugs Life', he dares to live his dream and head off to the unknown. Now I am not saying give up safety or security. What I am saying is go and explore other options. Maybe you’re that person with low self esteem that wants to do a job that requires you to stand up and be heard or wants to lose weight to take up that dream hobby or holiday location. Hypnotherapy allows you, in a safe and secure environment, to explore what your inner self is really like, and unlocks newfound exciting parts of you, that have been subdued by your conscious mind. You will probably find, like most of my clients, they have some great conversations with yourself under hypnosis. So if you want a hand stepping of the treadmill of life, even if you use it just as form of relaxation from your everyday life, call me. You never know, you might find like many, that you open yourself up to a whole new career, I did. Take a leaf out of Flik’s book from Bug’s life. Who knows, the world may discover it’s next Picasso, Hugh Grant or Raymond Blanc just by you allowing it a glimpse into the real you. Becky For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK www.beckywells.com / www.payitforwarduk.net 07801 941949 becky@beckywells.com You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the only one who'll decide where you'll go. |
AuthorBecky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her. Archives
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