Self Destruction

The story of one of my clients. Who would love to share their story with you.

Joy was a nine to five office worker who got up every morning and trundled off to work.  She dreamed of winning the lottery. One day, that dream came true and she inherited £100,000. Set for really good life some may say? The trouble was, at the back of her mind, she felt unworthy.

To change her mind set she decided to set up a home design business. She invested money in training and then set out to make her first million. Did she?  

No. But why? She’d been given a large sum of money and the best training possible. What she had failed to do is to feel worthy of any of it.

Her unconscious mind was still that person who felt she’d ended up where she was by luck. No other reason. Her unconscious habits and behaviours set out to help her achieve what she was focusing on… failing. She knew she’d been pretty good at that.

It happens in so many cases. Look at the lottery winners who win millions and end up with nothing or less than nothing. We look and say we’d never do that. I suspect they’d have said the same thing too.

So how can you get out of that cycle of self-destruct?

• Be aware of the pain. We don't tend to make changes unless we are motivated to do so. Don’t hide away from it. Face it head on.
• Pick one small, distinct change. Small changes that make you feel good, that grow your self-confidence.
• Learn to believe that you can. Don’t buy every self-help book going. They’ll end up on a shelf with the other two hundred. I mean go out and DO. Network with, not only your peers, but others that when you look hard enough can help you flourish.
• Don’t focus on growing the business. Grow you. ·      
• Use failure to learn. A wise lesson I once heard I always pass onto clients. You’ve never failed until you’ve stopped trying.
• Don't believe the negative self-talk. The little voice sitting on your shoulder is not you. It’s been learnt over a number of years. It’s other people’s opinions.
• Find support. This may be a therapist, a friend, a mentor. Don’t allow self-doubt to remain your best friend.

One final note to remember is some of the greatest names in history have been there.

• Theodor S. Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, had his first book rejected by 27 different publishers.

• R.H. Macy had a series of failed retail ventures throughout his early career.

        At 36, he started Macy's, one of the largest department store chains in the            world.

• Walt Disney had several of his businesses fail before the premiere of his movie "Snow White." He went onto become the guy who redefined American childhood.

Photo: Pixabay

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