Do you spend your life wondering how everyone else's life is so wonderful when your's is stuck in a rut, or maybe a deep well?

Remember most do not post what's truly going on in their life. Most social media sites are the 'I want you to think this about me' sites.

So how can you get back in your own rhythm?

• Stop following others as they dance through life. I recently went out to Canada and had an amazing time. My interaction with social media sites dropped dramatically. Interacting with the real world brings that zest to be you back again.
• If something is bothering you don't let it simmer. We know what happens when a simmering pot is left. It boils over. Talk to friends, family or a professional.
• Be you. Don't allow others to take the real you away.

Come and meet me in this short mini course I've designed.
​https://beckyjoewells.thinkific.com/courses/yourlifestory

I’m guilty. Are you?
I’ve been chatting with several clients this week and noticed a similar pattern of distraction interaction. What do I mean by this?

• Do you use Facebook for business but 5 mins on your business pages turns into 20-30 minutes watching what Joe Bloggs is doing or has done, the crazy dog in the mud video or similar?
• When the little red circle of notification pops up on your phone or laptop, does it send that surge of ‘the world could end’ if I don’t read it now. Only to find out it’s Joe Bloggs making lunch?
• Emails are another. Telling yourself I’ll just check there’s not important ones. As you scroll down clicking into Groupon, Ebay and Amazon on the way because you don’t want to miss out on ‘that thing’.

This is a link to a test they posted on the Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/nomophobia-smartphone-sep_n_7266468
I know I rate quite highly at times in the moderate range.
We have become a generation of ‘instant gratification seekers’. I’ve noticed on the rare occasions that I’ve not had my technology, I reconnect with the ‘real’ world and people.
So what are some of the ways we can take back control?
Recognise why you reach for your phone.
Boredom, stress, anxiety. It’s almost as if we are trying to distract ourselves from the problem at hand. Next time you reach for the unlock button, ask yourself what’s going on right now that you’re distracting yourself from.
Know the differences between interacting in person and online.
How many times have you read something online and got the wrong end of the stick? Without that face to face interaction, things can be misinterpreted. We are not picking up the energy of the person.
If you are trying to hide from the real world behind social media is it not is the time to step out of its shadow and take back you? Not Joe Bloggs the facebook, Twitter or Instagram icon.
Anyone for coffee?  A real one?

The story of one of my clients. Who would love to share their story with you.

Joy was a nine to five office worker who got up every morning and trundled off to work.  She dreamed of winning the lottery. One day, that dream came true and she inherited £100,000. Set for really good life some may say? The trouble was, at the back of her mind, she felt unworthy.

To change her mind set she decided to set up a home design business. She invested money in training and then set out to make her first million. Did she?  

No. But why? She’d been given a large sum of money and the best training possible. What she had failed to do is to feel worthy of any of it.

Her unconscious mind was still that person who felt she’d ended up where she was by luck. No other reason. Her unconscious habits and behaviours set out to help her achieve what she was focusing on… failing. She knew she’d been pretty good at that.

It happens in so many cases. Look at the lottery winners who win millions and end up with nothing or less than nothing. We look and say we’d never do that. I suspect they’d have said the same thing too.

So how can you get out of that cycle of self-destruct?

• Be aware of the pain. We don't tend to make changes unless we are motivated to do so. Don’t hide away from it. Face it head on.
• Pick one small, distinct change. Small changes that make you feel good, that grow your self-confidence.
• Learn to believe that you can. Don’t buy every self-help book going. They’ll end up on a shelf with the other two hundred. I mean go out and DO. Network with, not only your peers, but others that when you look hard enough can help you flourish.
• Don’t focus on growing the business. Grow you. ·      
• Use failure to learn. A wise lesson I once heard I always pass onto clients. You’ve never failed until you’ve stopped trying.
• Don't believe the negative self-talk. The little voice sitting on your shoulder is not you. It’s been learnt over a number of years. It’s other people’s opinions.
• Find support. This may be a therapist, a friend, a mentor. Don’t allow self-doubt to remain your best friend.

One final note to remember is some of the greatest names in history have been there.

• Theodor S. Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, had his first book rejected by 27 different publishers.

• R.H. Macy had a series of failed retail ventures throughout his early career.

        At 36, he started Macy's, one of the largest department store chains in the            world.

• Walt Disney had several of his businesses fail before the premiere of his movie "Snow White." He went onto become the guy who redefined American childhood.

Photo: Pixabay

​We live in a world of ‘what if?’, ‘what might have been?’ and ‘what could?’.  How about living in the ‘what right now?’.
​
If we stop and take a look at all that is around us right now, we can learn and be aware of the abundance of right now.

I can hear you saying… not me I’m not abundant. I’ve got bills coming out of my ears, I’ve got a job I really don’t like, I’m afraid to change in case….

STOP.

Take a minute to think about exactly what you do have right now.

• Are you breathing? Yes? Phew.

So to start with you have the abundance of breath which powers your body systems. Not only powers your body but is a powerful super tool against anxiety.  

• Are you reading, listening to this? Yes.

You already have a person who will listen to your story right here. You may have many others ready to listen your story too. If you hold that story inside how will it ever be told? Would Hansel and Gretel ever had made it out of the woods if the story was never told? Pinocchio would never have learnt to become a real boy. We follow those stories not knowing the outcomes but having a belief in where they would lead us.

In fact if we did not believe, like the author, Hansel and Gretel may have got lost in the woods forever. Pinocchio would just have been a wooden puppet on a carpenter's shelf. But we allowed ourselves to follow each moment believing that, moment by moment, belief would lead to positive outcomes. Even when obstacles were placed in the way.

So how does that make me abundant?  

As a child you used those amazing skills breathing, listening, learning to become the adult you are now. I suspect you’d not even thought of that.

How? You lived in that moment of time. Let’s take walking. You would have fallen over trying tens, maybe hundreds of times to walk. But the first time it worked and you walked steady, you forgot those other times and moved forward to the next step.

Life is about learning to try again. As the saying goes “falls down seven times, gets up eight”. Would Facebook exist? Google? Telephones? Would electricity exist if in a moment of difficulty they thought “I won’t bother again”?

I wouldn’t be writing this blog now if I hadn’t tried again. I struggled all my life to get words to make sense in a sentence, a page, an article. Now, if I slip a bit in the moment, I get up and in the moment check myself and go again.

How can the abundance of now help you?

The only moment you can truly deal with is right now. We do not know what will happen, even five minutes from now in reality. So take those bills out see how you can reduce them one by one. Maybe by talking to someone? An expert, citizens advice, a friend. A problem shared can bring a whole new perspective to a situation. That’s why I help people as a coach, a therapist, a mentor.

That job you don’t like, is it the job or is it all that’s going on around it? What are your skills? It took me 20 years but I finally pulled my fingers out of my ears and realised that my true skill is the art of listening, listening without judgement, not judging on what I may think. By doing this it allows my clients to learn to gain their belief to do the same thing, listen to themselves without judgement.

Choose to live in the now. Live every day, hour, minute to the max because you won’t get it back again.


So as you finish this last sentence I challenge you to STOP for a minute and listen to ‘the now’.