We all have strengths, weaknesses and skills that we use in everyday situations. It's time to learn how you can unlock these skills.
I was always the quiet one, at school I’d get on with my work, pretty much keeping myself to myself. In my first job, I tried to speak out once and suffered bullying by a senior member of staff, choosing to keep quiet and not tell anyone.
I never got promotion because I became afraid to speak out; I perceived it as my weakness, my Achilles heel. So what changed?
I learnt that my perceived weaknesses were actually my strengths.
The quiet shy person actually observes a lot more than most. When I sit quietly in the corner I am observing the body language, the energy of the individual as well as the words.
It was this that made me decide to become a hypnotherapist. Often when an individual comes to see me there is a barrage of underlying beliefs and behaviours triggering the reason for their visit.
I make it my mission to empower as many people who walk through the door to my office as I can. I do not try to control them. What I do is help them to show fear the door and realise that anxiety is ok, as long as they’re in control of it.
A great example is one of mine. I could never have imagined standing on stage talking to a crowd of people. Yet three years ago, I hired an auditorium and spoke to an audience about weight loss for over two hours.
A few years ago the thought of this would have sent me running, my voice would have speeded up to almost break the sound barrier and I would have glowed like a tomato from the head down.
How did I learn to control it? My breath. I learnt how to slow it down and as I did, the redness, my speeded up voice and my anxiety disappeared. I also realised I was actually enjoying myself. I was making jokes and the audience were laughing back.
If you had to list your strengths, what would they be?
Mine would be:
Great listener with my eyes, ears and awareness.
Compassion. I am a helper but I also learnt not to be a doormat.
Quirkiness. I am liable to dance in the rain, sing out of key, and make a joke or two.
Many years ago, I would have seen the quietness as a hindrance but now I see it as a super-power, allowing me to see beyond what others see.
My compassion also used to feel like a burden around my neck. Now it feels like wings that let me to take my message to the highest heights.
And my quirkiness? For many years it was like a hidden treasure, only seen by a chosen few close friends. Now I stand on mountain tops, singing songs and blowing my trumpet loudly.
Make a list of things that you feel have been holding you back.
On the other side of the page make a list of how you can change them to make then your uniqueness.
Because that’s exactly what I did and so can you.
If you need some more help, look at my page on Hypnotherapy for Self-Belief.
How's the start of this year going for you?
Last year I felt like I needed to spread myself across the social media floor trying to touch every corner of the web, as I tried to shout in every direction possible.
What am I doing about it? I'm reining in my fingers and toes, I've suddenly realised I could spend all day posting. liking, commenting. Funny thing is I'd been telling everyone else to look after themselves and forgotten to tell the most important person...me!
You can follow my daily blogs about my journey through 2016 and beyond.
Let me know in the comments below how you're changing you in 2016 and beyond or feel free to email me. Let's see how far we can grow in 2016 together.
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I was in the local wood with my dog the other day when a beam of sunlight streamed through the trees. I couldn’t resist. I checked nobody was looking and stood there with my arms open, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Then I thought to myself ‘why did I look around, what does it matter who sees’?
How many times do we pretend to be someone else? I was told I didn’t write the way I speak. I guess I searched for the long words that find recognition from my inner schoolteacher.
So I hung up my dictionary of important words and tried the dictionary of ‘me’. People started to comment on my work. Not only comment but also let me know how it felt like I was talking directly to them. Each article I wrote, each blog I published received comments. I realised that if I can help just one person, I have made a difference that could ripple around the world.
Social media lets us to put ourselves out there. Some ask me ‘Why do you post the pictures with the silly hats, the mad outfits etc?’ Because that’s who I am.
I was listening to the local radio station one morning and they were talking about how, as we get older, we lose that childhood magic that encourages us to go out, play hide and seek in the woods and leapfrog over bollards.
How to discover that inner you.
Observe those inner thoughts. Noticed yourself saying ‘if I only could do that’? What is that inner ‘you’ wishing to do?
Then go and give it a go.
Be aware of how differently you act around different groups of people.
Challenge yourself to act like the real you in front of each group.
Do people suddenly respond to you differently? Become more open maybe?
What was your favourite activity as a child? Give it a go.
Dance in the Autumn leaves
Jump in a puddle or so
Important: Do it while others are watching, you’ll be surprised who’ll join in with you.
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Becky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her.