In the last week or so I've spoken to a lot of people who have suffered from, or are going through some form of depression. One of the biggest things that came across is they don’t want sympathy. What they often want is just an ear to listen. Depression can feel like the loneliest place in the world. You can be in a room full of people, hiding behind a mask of smiles and laughter, but inside feeling like a person trapped on a desert island not knowing which way to escape. So as a friend how can we help? It’s not always easy to know if someone is depressed. Hiding behind ‘a happy mask’ is something that depressed people I have spoken to have told me that they do. Take five minutes with all your friends for an extra chat. It can sometimes help them to lift the mask up and let their feelings surface. Acknowledge. Chat with your friend. Say you’ve noticed they’ve been a bit quiet lately. Give them reassurance that you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk. Don't pretend it's not there or that it is not a serious condition. It can be very debilitating for the person involved. A comment like this can make them feel even more insignificant and that people aren’t taking their problem seriously. Don’t bring up their problems in front of other people. It can be very damaging to your friendship and to them. Sometimes it's just about listening. Listening without judgement or giving advice. Don’t see crying as a weakness. The person involved would like nothing better than to feel happy again and be themselves. Never call a problem stupid or tell them that it is nothing to worry about. It may stop them talking to others also, leading to a potentially even worse situation. The important thing is to be there. Be genuine, don’t lie to them. Don’t tell them things and not really mean them. A hug or simple ‘I’m here for you, if that’s okay’. Tell them how much you value their friendship and that you care about their life. Depression makes people feel worthless and not needed. Be there to reassure that person that they really matter and that you want to help. Don't be afraid to help them find the right help they need. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK
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Many people spend a lifetime falling in and out of bad relationships. Fearing being alone and hoping that happiness can be found in the arms of a partner. The truth is that happiness comes from within, and without the ability to love yourself you will find it very difficult to accept love or even give love. This month we are going to tackle the tricky business of love. We are going to start by looking at our relationship with ourselves. How do we view ourselves? What perception do we give out to the world? Could we work harder at loving ourselves? In this manic 24/7 world we live in and with the rise of social media, it has become the norm to give out a positive perception to the rest of the world. How many times do you edit a photo before posting it to your wall? Do you spend time looking at the photos of friends and peers and wishing you too could be as happy or as perfect. Do you flip through the glossy magazines and envy the glamorous celebs and then beat yourself up because you don’t look that way? It’s very common and a lot more people than you think do it. However it’s time to break the cycle. If you must compare yourself to anyone don’t make a comparison with an airbrushed picture. Find somebody whose attitude to life is inspiring. True beauty shines through from within when you are happy. You give off a natural glow, a charm that people are attracted to. I would like you to try an exercise, beginning with looking at yourself in the mirror and finding three things that you like about yourself and say it out loud. ‘I have nice eyes’ or ‘my hair is really glossy’. Try looking again and remind yourself out loud what personality traits you have that are good. Saying these things out loud re-enforces your positive self-image. We all like to hear it and hearing it from yourself is just as good and can be even more meaningful. For more information about affirmations and how they can help you go to my web page and see my blogs. Becky For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK |
AuthorBecky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her. Archives
November 2018
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