Scientist says we are only born with a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. All other fears are learnt behaviours.
In my work as a hypnotherapist, I often work with individuals who have fears through a learnt behaviour. The trigger doesn’t always have to be a physical experience. An example of this is the client that comes to me with the ‘What if’ or ‘I can’t because’ or the parent saying to the child ‘this happened to my friend’. The seed is then sown.
With it being bonfire night there were a lot of loud fireworks going off. I discovered that my own year old dog had a fear of them. I do not know how, as I have only had her eight months.
Initially on the first night, I think we probably heightened her fear by making a lot of fuss. Basically praising and therefore heightening her negative awareness of the noises.
So what did I do? I encouraged her to relax in the situation. No I didn’t give her hypnotherapy. We used a plug in diffuser and a jacket called a thunder jacket (reminded me of the hug in mug advert).
When working with a client I find the art of relaxation gets bypassed and the ‘fight or flight’ controlled by our brains has kicked in before it actually needs to. There must be a lot of prehistoric mammals (otherwise known as memories) out there chasing us.
Working with my clients I know in heart that I cannot undo the past. What I work with them on is making ‘the now’ a moment they can control. A client recently came to me for a fear of loud noises, bad weather etc. I recently received a text from them telling me they’d heard a clap of thunder and jumped like any of us would, but that was all and had stayed perfectly calm after.
I recently watched a fantastic video on UPWorthy about Happiness and being in the moment. Make 10 mins to watch it, it’s an amazing video. I love the little girl telling the story about standing at a door and then using her imagination to describe what may behind.
How about closing your eyes right now and imagining opening that door. What colour door is it? s it a cool metal handle or just one you push open? I wonder where you’ve gone to? Whilst you're there really experience what’s behind it. If it’s outside feel the touch of nature. Wind, sun, water. If you’re in a room look around at the old photos, your favourite comfy chair. Who knows what’s in that room? Even allow your mind to subconsciously pick up and touch objects.
Well done you just experienced self hypnosis.
Take 10 mins after reading this to watch this great little YouTube video. I think you’ll enjoy it. http://www.upworthy.com/clear-your-next-10-minutes-because-this-video-could-change-how-happy-you-are-with-your-entire-week.
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The school holidays have only just begun and the kids are already running out of exciting things to do!
Now some of you may know I was brought up in a small town called Crawley. My youth was spent playing in the local woods; climbing trees, playing hide and seek and generally enjoying myself without the aid of a computer console.
What do I think this helped with as an adult? Well the greatest dreams were created in those times about my future. That local forest became my Narnia. As I stepped into the entrance of the park nothing else really mattered.
We’d find trees to swing from and like elves from the forest other children would join in with the fun and games. We never thought about being bored, we didn’t have time. We were busy chasing away the fire breathing dragons or hiding from the invisible witch that lived down the black alley.
Children these days are not always allowed to set their imagination free. As a hypnotherapist the daydream is a powerful tool. During a hypnotherapy session a client is encouraged into a relaxed daydream type state. Whilst relaxed the therapist encourages them to change how they view certain feelings or events in their life to a more positive way.
So if you’re off with your kids this school holiday, why not relive your childhood? Show your kids how a forest such as Tilgate Park (http://www.crawley.gov.uk/pw/Leisure_and_Culture/Tilgate_Park/index.htm) in Crawley can be the place where their character is formed and their sense of independence is encouraged. And if you slay a few of your own dragons whilst you’re there, even better.
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I may be a bit of clown but being funny has it serious points. Have you ever seen the film ‘Patch Adams’, the Doctor who helped people with laughter?
If you haven’t, I highly recommend it. It’s based on a true story and the real Patch Adams is still going strong and heads up the Gesundheit Institute in the USA
Google it, it’s an amazing place and a really inspirational concept.
In every job I’ve done, I always try to bring a sense of humour and by bringing people together with humour; you find that any job can be fun.
I remember a version of Thriller reinacted down a hospital corridor in my previous job and God only knows the number of outfits I’ve changed into whilst teaching Aqua.
I will continue to try and raise a smile and bring people together because that is what I do. Feel free to join me if you dare, who knows one day I might get to visit the Gesundheit Institute. I’m sure I’ll fit in rather well there, don’t you?
How’s everybody’s week been? I hope you’ve had a good one.
As usual I’ve had a fun filled one, never quite knowing what’s round the corner type of week. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I promised myself a long time ago if I didn’t like something I’d change it.
I also made a promise to myself that I would not judge what I hear from others. Sometimes I go and get things wrong but all I put that down to is a new life lesson. I like to think of my life as on a quite squiggly line, always going to get somewhere, sometimes taking the strangest route on the way. Isn’t that the fun of it though?
Have a fantastic weekend. If you get the chance to do something different, grab it with both hands and go along for the ride, barefoot if you like. So what if you get muddy feet?
As William Wordsworth once said “… that best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
How many of you still hold the door open for someone, or pop round for a chat with a friend or neighbour?
An important part of what I do with my business is to support others. I love getting people involved in events, challenges and in being part of a team.
Why do I do this? To watch a smile on someone’s face who thought that ‘thing’ might never happen, is worth its price in gold.
So we’ve got around 28,000 days in our lifetime if we live to 75, let’s make as many as we can unique and build as many memories as possible…. I’ve just realised I’m over 14,000 days in, I’d better get busy.
What an amazing night last night. Two hundred people got together to raise money for a little girl who needs an operation in the US.
Organised by a godmother of Matilda, the ball was a fantastic night out. Live auctions of gifts money just can’t buy, raffles and photo-booths. All with one thing in common, they were donating their time and skills to www.walkingmatildausa.com
Did we all know Matilda? I found out a lot of us did not before hearing about the events, but we had all been touched by the story and wanted to help.
Would you consider helping a complete stranger? I can highly recommend it, it’s so rewarding. It doesn’t always have to cost anything, a friendly smile, a hug even the use of a friendly ear.
I know some will not understand why I do it. I know that some of you have already got involved.
I’ve set up a new Facebook page ‘Pay it Forward Sussex’, let’s see how far these ripples from the South can go.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
We talk all the time through Facebook, Twitter and all the other social media sites and in some cases they have broadened our social groups because of it.
Do you still sit down for a chat with friends?
I love to sit and have a coffee with friends. After an aqua class, you will regularly find me and the girls sitting and chatting.
It’s also an important part of the work that I do. When I have a consultation with someone, I will listen to their body language as well as their voice.
I always like to have a consultation with someone before they commit to working with me in order to change their life. Would you buy a car or a dress before you’d tried it out and check that it was the right one for you? I find it’s important never to pressure someone into changing.
If the time is right the transition is as easy, because you will feel in control of it.
If you want to talk about changing your life, give me a call.
If I asked you to paint your life on a canvas what would you paint?
Would it be a family scene with relaxed, warm colours and full of life and energy, or a dark lonely scene, full of greys, darkness and sadness?
What I love to do is help people paint over that darkness and fill it full of rainbows, bright colours.
Now, as many around me know, I have a mischievous side. If something I do seems ordinary then beware, I am probably planning something, especially if parties are involved.
Some would describe me a cheeky gremlin. My friends have been on all sorts of adventures because they are not quick enough to say no.
So my picture would be a brightly coloured outdoor scene, full of laughter and compassion but with hidden surprises hidden round each and ever corner.
So let’s use the history of the canvas and paint a brand new life portrait for you. In all the bright colours you can imagine.
I love the fact that when I am not working I have a real variety of interests to keep me entertained. I love to work and learn about people, I guess I am a real people watcher, constantly observing the world.
So when the chance came up to learn how to make a digital camera act more like the old film cameras I jumped at it. I am lucky I have a friend who is the most amazing photographer and has worked with a number of famous individuals. She has agreed to teach me. Have a look at her photography on her website www.merrymichau.com
So why can photography help me in my work? To me it’s like putting the world on freeze frame in front of you and capturing the emotions. You can look into the eyes (they say they are portals to the souls) and see that real person staring back.
Watch this space for my future attempts; I fear I may have a lot of black screens before I start posting pictures.
Have a hobby that you’d like to take up but maybe not the fitness, confidence or an injury that is preventing you starting?
Give me a call to see how I can help.
www.BeckyWells.com / www.payitforwarduk.net
On this blustery January day, we see that we are being made to change a word on a fruit juice packet, probably because a committee in Europe thought it would be fun to change it. Who actually cares whether it says ‘made with’ or ‘made from’ except for the people who probably made an absolute fortune doing a 2-year study into the use of the word? Who would have actually taken any notice of it or cared?
Why do we not commit our energy to making positive change to people’s long term lives, helping them to change how they feel about their community, their country and their world?
What would I like to change if I was in politics? Health and wellbeing, not a study into the number of bubbles from a fizzy drinks bottle that end up tickling your nose but a study into how our communities already (yes I said already) have amazing untapped networks which, if promoted and encouraged to grow, can create so much happiness, health and well being. Funnily enough, just like the old days. Have you ever noticed how on snowy days it’s so much easier to talk to people on the street and ‘break the ice’ so to speak?
People don’t want or need to be told what to do, look at all the ‘Pay it Forward’s and random acts of kindness that happen in communities.
They don’t have a higher authority setting guidelines, they just put a request out to the local community and they come together, every creed, age, religion working together because they know it will make a lasting positive influence on the people’s hearts and lives that they touch.
So if a politician is allowed to listen and act on the local community, change the world with kindness and make the world a healthier place for body and mind, then I’m in. If it’s to decide if the colour red is really red, then I’m washing my hair!
Have you made a difference with kindness? Do you want too? I do and I am, as often as I can.
Let me know on my website www.payitforwarduk.net
Have a great day
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Becky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her.