As I was walking through life the other day I came across a person with a rucksack, tatty, torn, with things just sticking out the top. So I stopped and I asked if it was OK to chat for a while.
Hello there…that looks heavy. Why do you carry such a heavy rucksack? As I spoke to them, I could see the tired weary look in their eyes, in their posture, deep into their soul. They said “I’ve been carrying this around most of my life they tell me and I’m not quite sure how to put it down.” “Well if you allow me, I’d love to sit and chat, even if it’s just to rest the rucksack on the floor as we talk, maybe even not talking but just to relax with you. So if you don’t mind me asking, what’s in the rucksack?” “It’s a bit like my security blanket really. It carries around all my fears, worries and anxieties. I’m not confident person, I may appear to be on the outside but inside is a world of what ifs, I can’t, you’re not good enough.” “Would you show me, talk to me about some of those things you’ve been carrying around?” So we started to explore the bag. “These are all the things I tried before, none of them seem to help.” We then delve a little deeper into the bag pulling out reams of comments. Things like ‘you’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough’. I asked where they collected these thoughts from - “just along the way”. Then they turned to me, smiled and said “my rucksack is now empty, as I look at the bits of tatty paper, holding my worries and fears. I realise that they’re not me” and you know what, they placed all that excess negativity and fear in the bin. It’s feels like a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I was worried to talk about these feelings out loud but now I have, I’m ready for the first day of the rest of my life. As a watched them get up, neatly folding the rucksack together and placing it to in the bin, I knew they were ready to continue on the incredible journey with them in control. It’s my choice each and every time I meet a new client or even a stranger, to listen, listen without judgement, listening not only with my heart but with my soul. My choice is always to believe in you.
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You may know I'm hypnotherapist but I originally trained as a personal trainer and sports therapist. About six months after I qualified I was working in the Private Health suite in a country club. It was such a small country club I could count members coming in each day on one hand.
Now this one drizzly day I was sitting watching the world go by when I noticed a man walking across one of the fields towards the hotel. The strange thing, considering the weather, was his clothing. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt. Where was his jacket? This is where the story gets a little strange. He walked in the gym and we started to chat. He explained he was a Reiki master. Me being an inquisitive person asked ‘what's a Reiki master’? He said let me show you. He asked me to sit on a chair and stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders, or just above, I can’t remember. The most intense heat I ever felt in my back, my lower back, happened. This is an area I've had surgery on in the past and actually have a metal plate. I hadn't told him. After he showed me the Reiki treatment, he turned and just walked back across the field again, never actually using the gym. When I described him to management, nobody knew who he was, Who was he? Where did he come from? I guess I'll never know but a few years later I did my Reiki one training and then about 10 years later, it was last year, I carried on and completed my Reiki two. Who knows where this journey will lead. What I do know, is that every day is a new adventure and I'm going to live every adventure to its fullest potential. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK www.facebook.com/BeckyWellsLimited Member of Wellness universe #WUVIP www.beckywells.com twitter:@beckyjoewells Sign up for my newsletter at www.beckywells.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter.html I’d just got back from walking the dog round the forest today, when my friend came downstairs to tell me that the cold tap was broken. So rather than panicking and calling out a plumber on a Sunday which I suspect would cost a fortune, I found my dungarees and decided to fix it like Mario or Luigi would have.
I searched my memory banks for life lessons I am still learning from my Dad. ‘Open the sink cupboard’ I could hear him say. I knew there must be a valve to stop the water flowing and et voila it was there and to my relief it stopped the torrent of wasted water. I was then able to fix the tap with nothing more than a bit of TLC and a spanner. Life can sometimes feel like a tap that will not turn off and sometimes it needs that extra hand to stop life flowing away out of our controls. When I see a new client for the first time, a bit like a plumber, I try to discover where the weaker areas are. I do not try to fix them myself. What I do is encourage the individual to take hold of those tools they already have within them and create a strong permanent fix. If you’re ready to take back control and stop life flowing away before your eyes, give me a call today. If I don’t answer straight away, I’m probably under the sink fixing another ‘You’ bend. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Life is but a stage.
For the last 30 years I have been luckily enough to visit many of the Disney World resorts. Each time it never feels less magical than the first, it really doesn’t matter what age I am when I go. This year I was lucky enough to be able to book in for the behinds-the-scenes tour at Walt Disney World in Florida and, far from taking away any of the magic, it just reinforced my views. It’s got me thinking recently, especially with all the Disney movies being shown over Christmas, that life really is like a show. When Walt and Roy Disney and their Imagineers designed the parks all the smallest details were considered. Did you know when you walk in the park the first thing you see is the station, almost like a welcoming curtain about to lift on the magic beyond. Then as you pass through the entrance, the first thing you see is a popcorn seller, just like in the movies. Each shop window along Main Street is a dedication to a Disney team member and a glimpse towards the magic castle at the end. Probably one of the most poignant things for me is the almost understated wooden bench with Roy Disney and Minnie with a space next to them. At the opposite end, underneath the castle, Walt stands with Mickey pointing towards the bench, apparently explaining to Mickey that he should join them as Walt sadly died before the park was completed. Always brings a tear to my eye even thinking about this. So why am I talking about this? I watched Mary Poppins yesterday, like a lot of people did, and it got me thinking. What would those children have grown to be had Mary Poppins not taught them to respect themselves? All it took was just a spoonful of sugar you know! As we wake up in the morning we prepare for the show. We make ourselves look human enough to face the day. If we don’t want people to think we’re OK for some reason, we change that appearance; we leave the make-up off and change our posture. We probably even self-believe we’re not OK and that just reinforces it in our mind. Walt realised that we are all like actors living our lives by scripts created by our own Creative Director, our own mind. He tried to put that sprinkle of magic back into us. Yet we sometimes choose not to see it or want to change it. So first I challenge you to act as if you are OK - shoulders back and make-up on. The show must go on. Then comes the walk down your own Main Street. With your head held high you’ll notice so much more, the details that hiding your face in the floor would have missed. Where do you want that street to lead? I know I want mine to lead to Cinderella’s Castle, even if it’s a long walk. Finally if life and events get in the way, make sure the magic continues. The most important person in your life is you. You can’t help anyone else if you can’t hear or just ignore yourself. The Disney brothers were thought of as insane for buying swampland for a $180 per acre. He had a dream and he believed in it. Now his dream brings so many more dreams to fruition in the world. So if you’re trying to make it down your own Main Street, or maybe not even made it through the opening gates yet, listen to that inner voice. Dream, believe and never give up. As Walt Disney once said “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”. See you on Main Street or maybe even the Castle. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK At this time of year when most of us believe in a little bit of extra magic, do you sometimes feel that the Grinch (the one who hates Christmas) is hiding behind your other ear, whispering?
How many times has that inner voice, like a restaurant critic, said “you should do it this way not that way.” Or “It just won't work?” I’m going to give you a Christmas Challenge. Shut your eyes and listen to that voice talking to you. Who does it sound like? ‘Me’ I hear some of you say. Now listen even more closely. That voice will probably remind you of someone from your past. Someone from school, a friend, even a sibling. Just take a closer listen. Remember when you first heard them talk to you that way? I suspect you were a younger person. Now imagine yourself as a third person watching this conversation taking place. Would you allow that person to talk down to that younger or less confident you? Would you stand up to them now? Most of us wouldn’t stand for being spoken to in such a harsh way now, but we still let a voice inside us do it. It’s time to stand up to that inner critical one and banish them forever. Create that inner magic from within, give yourself that extra special present under the tree. The gift of self belief. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Our bodies are very clever pieces of finely tuned equipment, which if not maintained correctly start to misfire and run a bit slower than usual. The hormone called Cortisol helps to replenish your body after a stressful situation. Nowadays we have an unfortunate tendency to ‘stew’ over situations without ever expending the calories we would have used in the past. So for a caveman the stress would have been a sabre-toothed tiger and we would have run like Forrest Gump, a modern-day stress is more likely to be a comment, an email and rather than running we sit stewing over the it more and more. The body doesn’t understand that you aren’t going to run, so it sends a hormonal signal to your brain to replenish nutrition stores by making you want to eat. The body stores these supplies in a place where it knows it can store in larger quantity. It stores it as ‘Visceral fat’ which tends to be around your waist. Now here’s the annoying thing. If a further stressful situation occurs, the muscles send out a signal for fuel, asking for sugar. Hence the reason you start to crave carbohydrates when stressed. To transport sugar from our blood to our muscles requires the hormone, insulin. High levels of sugar and insulin in the blood can send a message to the brain to store fat. The body wants to be prepared for running away from the next ‘sabre-toothed tiger’ that comes along, which also goes by the name of the ‘boss’, ‘the gossips’, ‘the rude message’, the list could go on. So how can we deal with these stresses? Exercise can burn off excess calories. It can also produce various biochemicals that can counter the negative effects that stress hormones have, helping in turn to control levels of insulin and sugar. Relaxation can produce chemicals within the brain that can counter the effect of stress. If you feel you can’t relax easily, try hypnotherapy, mindfulness, yoga, or meditation. A balanced diet includes never skipping meals. This helps balance blood sugar levels, inhibiting insulin production and reducing cortisol levels. I have daily conversations with people who do not eat enough food. Here’s a tip. That’s a stress to the body. It thinks the world food supply is ending and thinks it should tell your body to store more. Finally sleep. Poor sleep leads cortisol levels to rise. Make sure you have a good night’s sleep. So to sum it up: · Find a way that suits you to release the stress. · Eat a balanced healthy diet to stop the hormones taking control in a negative way. · Allow your body to recover and regenerate through sleep. If you need some more help, look at my page on Hypnotherapy for Self-Belief. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK In the last week or so I've spoken to a lot of people who have suffered from, or are going through some form of depression. One of the biggest things that came across is they don’t want sympathy. What they often want is just an ear to listen. Depression can feel like the loneliest place in the world. You can be in a room full of people, hiding behind a mask of smiles and laughter, but inside feeling like a person trapped on a desert island not knowing which way to escape. So as a friend how can we help? It’s not always easy to know if someone is depressed. Hiding behind ‘a happy mask’ is something that depressed people I have spoken to have told me that they do. Take five minutes with all your friends for an extra chat. It can sometimes help them to lift the mask up and let their feelings surface. Acknowledge. Chat with your friend. Say you’ve noticed they’ve been a bit quiet lately. Give them reassurance that you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk. Don't pretend it's not there or that it is not a serious condition. It can be very debilitating for the person involved. A comment like this can make them feel even more insignificant and that people aren’t taking their problem seriously. Don’t bring up their problems in front of other people. It can be very damaging to your friendship and to them. Sometimes it's just about listening. Listening without judgement or giving advice. Don’t see crying as a weakness. The person involved would like nothing better than to feel happy again and be themselves. Never call a problem stupid or tell them that it is nothing to worry about. It may stop them talking to others also, leading to a potentially even worse situation. The important thing is to be there. Be genuine, don’t lie to them. Don’t tell them things and not really mean them. A hug or simple ‘I’m here for you, if that’s okay’. Tell them how much you value their friendship and that you care about their life. Depression makes people feel worthless and not needed. Be there to reassure that person that they really matter and that you want to help. Don't be afraid to help them find the right help they need. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Do you sit reading fairy tales to your children, or remember childhood, tales of princesses, knights and happy ever afters?
Life really is like a fairy tale - we just forget to see it that way sometimes. How? Well let’s take that story of the Princess and her ‘evil’ stepmother and how the Princess was banished to the forest to be executed. So the Princess’s life started off happily, playing in the castle without a care in the world, surrounded by people she loved, feeling safe and secure. Life events, such as the loss of her mother, meant her life was turned upside down. Not only losing someone she dearly loved but also feeling like an outsider in her own place of safety. Fast forward a few years and jealousy from her stepmother meant the princess was outcast from the castle. Did this make the Princess bitter and angry? No. She adapted to her new role, not judging others (like the Dwarves) for their size, attitudes or life choices. Eventually she did meet her Princess Charming just by being herself. If we look back and think about most fairy tales we only remember the good parts. The Princess, the friendships she made. But if you look at almost any fairy tale, the main character had to overcome a lot of adversity to get there. Isn’t it about time you took control of your own fairy tale? Not blaming others for the last chapter but realising you really can make your fairy tale have its own happy ending? If you need help writing that next chapter in your book, why not consider hypnotherapy? Think of hypnotherapy as a perfect pair of reading glasses that helps you to see the pages for what they really are, just a story where you really do have control of having that… ‘Happy ever after’. Many of you know I live my life in a Pay it Forward way but for my 40th Birthday I decided to do an extra Pay it Forward as part of my birthday celebrations.
For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Eight months in the planning for my 40th and the big day finally arrived. My Mad Hatter Tea Party was the social event of the year and one not to be missed. Not one for being the centre of attention and certainly not one for surprises, I decided to plan the party myself and taking the limelight was the cake. Back in November I met with the choccywoccydoodah team and designed my perfect Mad Hatter’s Tea Party cake. The chocolate was picked, the design was finalized – the party was then designed to fit around the masterpiece. A chance meeting at a networking event got us in touch with the guardian angels from Not Just For Hire. Sara and Amanda got the theme straight away and had so many ideas to make the party simply amazing. Tulleys Farm, being just down the road from me, provided the perfect venue. With its spacious barn, ample outside space and a great team to assist with the finer details, the party planning was off to a great start. Invitations sent and fancy dress costumes made it was just a case of waiting for the date to come around. Amanda and Sara had it all in hand, making the planning on my part minimal and completely stress less. July the 5th finally came round and it’s Action Stations. Haybale sofas, mismatched tables and chairs and crockery, bird cages, toadstools, giant rabbits and much more, was elegantly dressing the barn. DJ and photo booth (care of Victoria Lily) in place it was nearly time to put on the dancing shoes. One final thing to set the stage ... the cake ! Central to the room and the first thing the guests would see, was a white chocolate dream. Mice in tea pots, looking glasses and a Cheshire Cat, roses and watches it was stunning. The team at choccy had really outdone themselves. Enter the guests and the madness really began. The night was kicked off with some serious big kid time. Bouncy castles, trampolines and inflatable slides. A few casualties later and it was time to party. Mum said bruises were a sign you’ve had a good time! Back in the barn it was time to get the dancing shoes on. One last formality, the cutting of the cake, although everyone wanted it to stay intact …. but I’m not sure anybody expected the chainsaw! Dancing followed – some brilliant moves by Dad and all the classics came on. It was a night to remember and one never to forget. Many thanks to all involved in the planning and special thanks to: Choccywoccydoodah for the fantastic cake, professional service, and delivery with a smile. Tulley’s Farm for the fantastic venue, staff and all the help they provided on the day. Sara and Amanda at Not Just For Hire for their dedication to making my party the success it was with their hard work, attention to detail and doing it all with a smile. You girls rock! Andy and Jenny from Dorrington Photography for the amazing shots – thank you for the memories. The team at Victoria Lily Vintage Photo Booths and Mike for Cloud and Sun DJ Services - the party wouldn’t of been the same without you. And finally to all that attended. Thank you for the memories, the sore feet and giggles. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. To all that bought raffle tickets in aid of the Make a Wish Foundation we raised £94 and I can assure that the money will go on to make somebody else’s dreams come true. Now to start planning the 50th. Becky. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK |
AuthorBecky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her. Archives
November 2018
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