Once upon a time…
Do you sit reading fairy tales to your children, or remember childhood, tales of princesses, knights and happy ever afters?
Life really is like a fairy tale - we just forget to see it that way sometimes. How? Well let’s take that story of the Princess and her ‘evil’ stepmother and how the Princess was banished to the forest to be executed.
So the Princess’s life started off happily, playing in the castle without a care in the world, surrounded by people she loved, feeling safe and secure.
Life events, such as the loss of her mother, meant her life was turned upside down. Not only losing someone she dearly loved but also feeling like an outsider in her own place of safety.
Fast forward a few years and jealousy from her stepmother meant the princess was outcast from the castle.
Did this make the Princess bitter and angry? No. She adapted to her new role, not judging others (like the Dwarves) for their size, attitudes or life choices.
Eventually she did meet her Princess Charming just by being herself.
If we look back and think about most fairy tales we only remember the good parts. The Princess, the friendships she made. But if you look at almost any fairy tale, the main character had to overcome a lot of adversity to get there.
Isn’t it about time you took control of your own fairy tale? Not blaming others for the last chapter but realising you really can make your fairy tale have its own happy ending?
If you need help writing that next chapter in your book, why not consider hypnotherapy? Think of hypnotherapy as a perfect pair of reading glasses that helps you to see the pages for what they really are, just a story where you really do have control of having that…
‘Happy ever after’.
When you first hear the word ‘relationship’ you may automatically think I am talking about a lover, a partner or spouse.
Relationships are more than this. We have relationships with all those around us, friends, family, the shopkeeper from the local shop that hands you your newspaper each day, and many others.
If I asked you to create a circle with ten layers in it, each one numbered by how important you are compared to other people, I wonder where you would place yourself in comparison to them?
Let me give you an example. You have been in a relationship for many years, so you would place yourself on the same circle as your partner. In a social situation you feel inferior to the opposite sex, reluctant to join in conversations, worried that everyone will laugh at some incorrect comment you may make.
How about allowing hypnotherapy to help with gaining a whole new perspective on your social status?
Some of the areas I have worked on with individuals are:
Feeling an equal partner in a relationship
Helping you to appreciate your own position in society. Everyone is important, no matter what or who they are.
Helping you to open up, allowing other near them for future relationships, whether this is for friendship or a sexual relationship
So let’s start today building that positive relationship you have with YOU first right now.
Book in for my ‘A Weight of your Mind’ interactive weight loss seminar at the Chequer Mead Arts Centre in East Grinstead on the 24th of September. I’m giving a free group weight loss hypnotherapy session at the end of the event. http://www.beckywells.com/a-weight-off-your-mind-at-chequer-mead.html
Or come and visit me at the Sussex Women’s Show, Brighton Racecourse on the 27th to 28th September. I will also be giving two 20 minute talks at this show.
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Put yourself in their shoes
After seeing a couple of clients today, it reminded me why I think I am good at what I do. With all my clients, whether they are hypnotherapy, Personal Training or sports massage clients, I try to put myself in their shoes, so to speak.
No I don’t have some strange foot fetish before you start to wonder, I mean in the metaphorical sense.
Let’s take, for example, a highly skilled executive that comes to see me. When I first met him he came across as bold, confident and sometimes quite abrupt.
What I might find underneath is an unconfident introvert inside an extrovert shell.
What I try to do with my skills is unravel the layers of protection that have been built up, a bit like an onion with its outer layer thickened by the environment.
I help take the layers off one by one until I reach the centre, then, and almost as important, I help them to use those layers to make something even better.
So if you would like a hand unpeeling that onion, I have the utensils to give you a hand. I’ll even give you a tissue if it makes your eyes water. As we know teardrops are made of 1% water
Give a little
As William Wordsworth once said “… that best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
How many of you still hold the door open for someone, or pop round for a chat with a friend or neighbour?
An important part of what I do with my business is to support others. I love getting people involved in events, challenges and in being part of a team.
Why do I do this? To watch a smile on someone’s face who thought that ‘thing’ might never happen, is worth its price in gold.
So we’ve got around 28,000 days in our lifetime if we live to 75, let’s make as many as we can unique and build as many memories as possible…. I’ve just realised I’m over 14,000 days in, I’d better get busy.
Maybe I should be a politician
On this blustery January day, we see that we are being made to change a word on a fruit juice packet, probably because a committee in Europe thought it would be fun to change it. Who actually cares whether it says ‘made with’ or ‘made from’ except for the people who probably made an absolute fortune doing a 2-year study into the use of the word? Who would have actually taken any notice of it or cared?
Why do we not commit our energy to making positive change to people’s long term lives, helping them to change how they feel about their community, their country and their world?
What would I like to change if I was in politics? Health and wellbeing, not a study into the number of bubbles from a fizzy drinks bottle that end up tickling your nose but a study into how our communities already (yes I said already) have amazing untapped networks which, if promoted and encouraged to grow, can create so much happiness, health and well being. Funnily enough, just like the old days. Have you ever noticed how on snowy days it’s so much easier to talk to people on the street and ‘break the ice’ so to speak?
People don’t want or need to be told what to do, look at all the ‘Pay it Forward’s and random acts of kindness that happen in communities.
They don’t have a higher authority setting guidelines, they just put a request out to the local community and they come together, every creed, age, religion working together because they know it will make a lasting positive influence on the people’s hearts and lives that they touch.
So if a politician is allowed to listen and act on the local community, change the world with kindness and make the world a healthier place for body and mind, then I’m in. If it’s to decide if the colour red is really red, then I’m washing my hair!
Have you made a difference with kindness? Do you want too? I do and I am, as often as I can.
Let me know on my website www.payitforwarduk.net
Have a great day
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Eating too much?
How many times have you enjoyed a meal so much that you finished your plate even though you were full up. An uncomfortable feeling creeps up on you and you still have to take that one extra mouthful.
We’ve all done it. I did it tonight. I’m feeling like a Buddha-shaped girl.
Many people have a compulsion to over eat. It’s not something they can help. Actually in most cases it’s just a habit that has become out of control due to any number of reasons. Maybe that’s you.
So if I asked you what caused your excessive eating you might say “I do it when I am upset”, “It started when I retired”, “When I lost my job” or another life changing and upsetting event.
Hypnotherapy allows you to access your own subconscious mind where your bad habits and your bad life experiences are stored. Working with your hypnotherapist these issues are examined and demystified.
In a safe environment, you are taught to relax and allow your subconscious mind to open up and make a positive effect on your future behavior around food.
So put down that knife and fork, take a few deep breaths and give me a call.
Hypnotherapy is an ancient, safe and effective tool that helps you use the power of your subconscious mind to enhance your conscious daily life. It can soothe fears, mend uncomfortable thoughts and bring you closer to the person you want to be and CAN be.
Thinking of Building an Ark!
I am thinking of investing in a canoe to get between clients if the rain continues. What a start to summer (or glummer) as I heard it called.
Have you ever wondered what hypnotherapy can be used for? I would ask that the other way round. What can't it be used for?
Weight loss is one of the areas hypnotherapy can complement and enhance other forms of training such as personal training, pilates and yoga. It gets to the the heart of the matter and can help to change years of bad habits, replacing them with positive ones. I have recently been working with several clients who, by changing their lifestyle and eating habits, lost between 10 and 17 pounds over an eight week period.
Confidence and self esteem is another area where people seem to bloom steadily as the sessions progress. For me the reward of seeing someone grow is so motivational and inspires me a little bit more every time.
What's planned for this week? Glamour magazine team have taken the Royal Great Parks Half Marathon challenge by the horns and are taking their training shoes all round the world. They took their Asics trainers to Australia on a photo shoot. There's dedication for you!
Tuesday they are training in Berkeley Square with myself and Vicky from Matt Roberts 'Training with You'. It's going fantastically well. They've been using muscles in their bodies they didn't even know they had.
I'm off to Harley Street to see clients on Thursday. Then topping the week off with a trip to Longines Royal International Horse Show at Hickstead. I went last year for the first time and was so impressed by the events and exhibitors that I am looking forward to this year even more.
In the British tradition I am going whatever the weather. That's why 'Hunters' were invented.
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How many times have you looked in a mirror and the person staring back at you seems like a complete stranger? Or that person who walks behind you as you gaze into a shop window; you think you know them, but you turn around and realise it is someone completely different.
We judge people on first appearances. How many times have we read something in a local paper or national magazine and instantly judged someone without knowing the facts? Most of us are guilty at some point of doing this and we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. The difference is some then choose to find out the facts then draw their own conclusions, others simply presume.
In our everyday lives we judge people by how they look, how they dress or how they act. We are all born as individuals, yet we are taught as we become older to conform to particular standards.
Respecting those around you is a common courtesy. We are taught to hold the door open for someone, and say please and thank you.
What do you see when you see that elderly person in the street, or that person who has abilities that are impaired?
I see individuals with unlimited potential to grow. As a Personal Trainer, who works with referrals from medical professionals, I am challenged everyday to open my eyes up and see past a person’s reflection looking back at me, even if they are looking back themselves in that metaphorical mirror thinking 'I cannot change'.
To me, the person crippled with osteo-arthritis is the person I can take into a pool and maybe for the first time in years, allow them to feel weightless. Due to the nature of water their range of motion may be increased, as their joints glide freely under the water’s hydrostatic pressure.
To see someone walking easily in water after years of walking in pain is more rewarding than any salary I could be paid.
I am also fortunate to have the chance to work with various individuals with mental health issues, from schizophrenia to anxiety. The reward of watching that person flourish and continue on their individual positively affected journey makes coming to work a privilege rather than a chore.
Next time you look into that mirror or reflection in the shop window, why not stop and take a closer look, look beyond what you see.
I have chosen to always look beyond what stands in front of me and see right to the heart and soul of each individual person I meet on my journey.
So whether it is something they’ve said, done or their appearance, are you willing to take the time to judge what’s behind the mask? For some of us we will choose not to, at the fear of what we might find. But as an unknown author once wrote, 'Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the Ark, professional built the Titanic.’
Becky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her.