How's the start of this year going for you?
Last year I felt like I needed to spread myself across the social media floor trying to touch every corner of the web, as I tried to shout in every direction possible. What am I doing about it? I'm reining in my fingers and toes, I've suddenly realised I could spend all day posting. liking, commenting. Funny thing is I'd been telling everyone else to look after themselves and forgotten to tell the most important person...me! You can follow my daily blogs about my journey through 2016 and beyond. Let me know in the comments below how you're changing you in 2016 and beyond or feel free to email me. Let's see how far we can grow in 2016 together. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK
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I was in the local wood with my dog the other day when a beam of sunlight streamed through the trees. I couldn’t resist. I checked nobody was looking and stood there with my arms open, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Then I thought to myself ‘why did I look around, what does it matter who sees’?
How many times do we pretend to be someone else? I was told I didn’t write the way I speak. I guess I searched for the long words that find recognition from my inner schoolteacher. So I hung up my dictionary of important words and tried the dictionary of ‘me’. People started to comment on my work. Not only comment but also let me know how it felt like I was talking directly to them. Each article I wrote, each blog I published received comments. I realised that if I can help just one person, I have made a difference that could ripple around the world. Social media lets us to put ourselves out there. Some ask me ‘Why do you post the pictures with the silly hats, the mad outfits etc?’ Because that’s who I am. I was listening to the local radio station one morning and they were talking about how, as we get older, we lose that childhood magic that encourages us to go out, play hide and seek in the woods and leapfrog over bollards. How to discover that inner you. Observe those inner thoughts. Noticed yourself saying ‘if I only could do that’? What is that inner ‘you’ wishing to do? Then go and give it a go. Be aware of how differently you act around different groups of people. Challenge yourself to act like the real you in front of each group. Do people suddenly respond to you differently? Become more open maybe? What was your favourite activity as a child? Give it a go. Dance in the Autumn leaves Jump in a puddle or so Important: Do it while others are watching, you’ll be surprised who’ll join in with you. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Picture yourself five years from now taking control of that inner voice. Where would you be?17/12/2015 Catching balloons
Life is all about catching those balloons and holding onto them. Over the years I have managed to catch many balloons. The listening balloon, which allows me to listen to all without judgement. The relaxation balloon which allows me to take ‘Me’ time, the walk in the wood, the time out watching a Christmas Movie or three. The Empathy balloon, which helps me help others, with care and compassion. The kindness balloon, I love to help others without any wish for reward. But there is one balloon, that I still struggle to grab hold off. It’s within my reach but I’m not brave enough to reach that little bit further.The balloon that eludes me is the balloon of accepting and asking for help. As the independent Cancerian that I am I find it hard to ever ask for help. In fact I am more likely to retreat into a shell than ask. It’s funny that balloon even prevents me from asking others for testimonials about my work, or help from others I have helped. That to me is asking for too much currently. So with the New Year fast approaching, I’m going to look around for step ladders or a box and work on leaning a little further to grab hold of that last elusive balloon. I want to head into 2016 with that balloon firmly in my hand. Wish me luck! For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Do you sit reading fairy tales to your children, or remember childhood tales of princesses, knights and happy ever afters? Life really is like a fairy tale - we just forget to see it that way sometimes. How? Well let’s take that story of the Princess and her ‘evil’ stepmother and how the Princess was banished to the forest to be executed. The Princess’s life started off happily, playing in the castle without a care in the world, surrounded by people she loved, feeling safe and secure. Life events, such as the loss of her mother, meant her life was turned upside down. Not only losing someone she dearly loved but also feeling like an outsider in her own place of safety. Fast forward a few years and jealousy from her stepmother meant the princess was outcast from the castle. Did this make the Princess bitter and angry? No. She adapted to her new role, not judging others for their size, attitudes or life choices. Eventually she did meet her Princess Charming just by being herself. If we look back and think about most fairy tales, we only remember the good parts. The Princess, the friendships she made. But if you look at almost any fairy tale, the main character had to overcome a lot of adversity to become happy. Isn’t it about time you took control of your own fairy tale? Not blaming others for the last chapter but realising you really can make your fairy tale have its own happy ending? How many times do you allow that little inner voice to control you? Let’s call him JayCee(JC). Now JC sits on your shoulder and maybe in the past fed negative thoughts in. You know the one, the little voice that says “You can’t do that, imagine how you’ll feel if it all went wrong?”, or “Do you think you’re really good enough to do that?”. Most of us at some point have doubted our ability and stopped ourselves from doing something we really wanted to do. Which character in a fairy tale do you currently liken your life to? Are you the Princess trapped up a tower waiting to be rescued? Are you the underdog following around the heroine? OR maybe you feel like a hero or a bad guy in your story? Then it’s all about making those changes to become that real you in your perfect story. Who would my character be? I know you’re probably wondering. I am definitely a bit of a Peter Pan with a twist of Tinkerbell thrown in too. Many of the innocence we have in childhood is lost on the way by learnt behaviour, past events. I have re-learnt that treating everything as an adventure and calling problems challenges has allowed me to flick that inner JC off my shoulder and look forward to my next adventure.
For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK My first question is: are you ready to strip off?
Over many years we put on layers and layers of bad behaviours and habits around food. It’s almost like leaving a T-shirt on, then adding another one just in case it gets cold. Even if it’s 30° outside. Because it’s something you’ve always done. So let’s have a look at these layers. The base layer, is just like your favourite underwear that you have worn for years and years. As a child we’re told we are not allowed to leave the table until we cleared our plates. How many of you now feel guilty unless you can clear the plate in front of you? I suspect quite a few. We still feel like that little child who wants to be rewarded by words or a treat once we clear our plates. Next comes what we will call the mid layer. The comfort layer. Just like your favourite fleece you wear on a cold autumn’s day. The comfort layer is when we turn to foods in stressful situations. Picture the scenario, you have a bad day at work and head to the nearest reward cupboard or maybe even go to a shop on your way home. You pick up that thing that you think makes you feel better. Does it really? Finally the outer layer where we have certain habits that we follow. Maybe a set route to work. Or dropping off the kids at school. How many stop at a local shop for a food treat, or a friend’s house for a ‘coffee’ and biscuit? We almost see it as little mini rewards for ourselves. For example managing to get the kids to school on time or being ready for work. So how can we peel some of these layers off? Using hypnotherapy we can go back and see these ‘rewards’ for what they really were, a form of bribery to ourselves or from our peers. Encouraging the subconscious mind to realise that eating until we are full or even over full is actually a form of bullying ourselves. It’s like telling ourselves that we’re still that small child wanting to get down from the table. Hypnotherapy encourages self esteem, self-confidence and self belief around foods Clearing out the middle layer using hypnosis encourages the subconscious mind to remember the brevity of that false comfort and how it potentially makes the situation feel even worse. As not only did the thoughts still remain but the guilt of eating inappropriate foods or drinks was planted on the top We have an amazing control room within us that regulates all the things body does. A lot of this without us even thinking about it. Our mind has around 60,000 thought processes. With hypnotherapy we go back in and tweak them. Learn how to change those habits and in doing so feel back in control. Gain greater confidence, greater self esteem and greater self-control by learning to be the real ‘YOU’ My last question is… are you ready to peel back those layers? For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK When I forgot to listen
Being a hypnotherapist I consider myself a good listener. Yet a year ago or so I forgot to listen to one very important person. Myself. I’ve been running my business for a few years now but last year I stopped listening to my goals, my dreams and my ambitions. It sneaked up on me and to be honest I didn’t realise until I’d wasted a lot of precious time and money. It’s easy to follow the crowd, listen to what this or that person is saying. Maybe changing course to be ‘just like them’, but what I was really doing was holding myself back. So this year I decided to listen to me again, try those things that I’d feared having a go at. Do you know what happened? The work started to flow in like Niagara Falls. I’m not complaining, last year I was calling what I did work. This year I’m talking to people about my passion and I do not feel like I’ve ‘worked’ a day this year at all. Are you doing something just because someone said you should? Didn’t make your own mind up? Is fear stopping you from making that break? Jump through it, it’s definitely worth it. In fact it stopped my hair turning even greyer with the stress of the internal fight going on inside of me. I feel back in control again and I’m not going to lie, I like being back in control of me. Listen to yourself. Would you treat your own best friend the way you treat yourself sometimes? No. I didn’t think so. A big thank you to all those that helped pull my fingers out my ears too. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK The weight loss industry is expected to be worth £220 billion by 2017, but many recent studies suggest that only changing our lifestyle really helps us to lose weight. Eleanor Steafel writing in the Telegraph recently said: “By some estimates, only five per cent of those who go on a diet keep off the weight they lose”. Estimates in the 2007 Foresight Report that half the population will be obese by 2050 may have underestimated the scale of the problem. More and more of even those who buy pills, special ready meals, shakes, low fat food etc are beginning to feel that the claims of an easy solution aren’t true. The reason why we keep trying them is that we don’t believe that we can consistently and daily make healthy choices over the period of time that is needed for these changes to have effect. However research in Italy suggests that even in a few months the dangerous fats in our body diminish and reduce the risk of strokes and heart disease. We are overweight for various reasons. Over the past 30 years increasing numbers of people do office jobs and drive to work. Domestic appliances make housework easier and less physically demanding. Dieting programs can fail and make us even heavier than we were before we started. Much of is this is down to suggestion. Suggestions through advertising that a certain sugary food will calm our anxiety (I have had many clients recently who want to give chocolate up or at least cut it down). In fact the suggestions that advertising make to us every day have shaped our behaviour and changed our lives. If these suggestions didn’t work the advertisers would not be making them. If you want to live longer and healthier all these suggestions have to be reversed. Hypnotherapy is the therapy that deals with positive suggestions and there is increasing evidence that it works. But there is no “one size fits all” (excuse the pun). Each person has been manipulated by suggestions from advertisers and others to acquire the negative habits they have. So each person needs an in-depth consultation to discover which positive suggestions need to be given for them. If you smoke, the first thing a Hypnotherapist will advise is a non-smoking session. That’s number one for saving your life. And then you want to become, or rather become again, that healthy, active person you were as a child, before you became unhealthy, stressed and inactive. In the experience of many hypnotherapists that child is still to be found in their client. There is no need to add anything, just to identify and change those habits that we acquired even when we didn’t want to. Becky Wells For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Although I was very quiet at school, I was luckily enough not to be bullied. Occasionally the Cancerian in me did snap its claws, when I was pushed too far with my kindness and loyalty to others. I confess at aged 10 I did catch a friend’s fingers in my front gate once but in my defence she was chasing after me. We’re now good friends now.
Then came my first job. Leaving school at sixteen I was eager to please and ready to do no wrong. As I look back now this is where I experienced my first real taste of being bullied. A year after I started, a new employee joined. He’d been made redundant from a higher position in his firm and thought rather a lot of himself. He took advantage of my rather naive line manager and on one occasion I reported this to a higher boss, as I was worried it may compromise the security within the office. You can guess what happened next, my line manager had a go at me but very sneakily. He took me into another room away from other staff and told me that ‘he’d make my life hell and have me fired if I did it again’. So there I stayed in my shell for many years, figuring it was best to keep a low profile. Ten years later and a slightly wiser self, I could see the same thing happening again. The difference being that this time I would not let them take control over me. I was being accused of not working my hours and being lazy. Anyone that knows me, knows I put my heart and soul into my work. So I stepped up, faced the bullies and learnt that it’s ok to stand up for yourself. It was empowering. In the past I’d had no confidence in me, so I would have believed that what they’d said might actually be true. Now I know I’m stronger than that. I recently saw a young man who was bullied by his own thoughts, as many of us are. He would run through many ‘what if’ scenarios, forgetting he was as important as all around him. When he realised this, I watched him begin to soar both professionally and socially. My top five tips to face your bullies.
In my next blog I’m going to talk about why it’s important to be unique. I’ll let you know some of the quirky activities I’ve been involved in because I can. If you need some more help, look at my page on Hypnotherapy for Self-Belief. For more information CLICK For bookings CLICK Past tense
How many times do you find yourself saying to someone, I used to be able to do this or that? I have in the past done exactly the same. What made me change? I learnt I had to accept myself for who I am right at this moment in time. At the age of 18 I had my life mapped out I’d thought. Little did I know. I had been a Police Cadet in Sussex since the age of 14 and had passed all my entrance exams and was just waiting for the physical tests. To me I knew I’d pass that without an extra breath. I was a fit, County Level runner and loved extreme sports. Little was I to know what was around the corner. At the time I was working for the Government and on my way to my office in Central London. I turned to look in a shop window and that’s when it happened. I was frozen to the spot with pain. Being a rather introverted person, I stood there wondering what to do. Do I go and get back on the train or do I carry on to work? I slowly made my way to work, a five minute walk, which took around forty five that day. When I arrived they suggested I went home as I was apparently fifty shades of pale. This was to be the end of my Police career. Ended before it had started. I’d ruptured a disc in my lower back so badly that I’d have to have a metal plate put in a week later or risk losing more feeling in my left leg or even being paralysed below the waist. I spent the following five years living the ‘if only’ life after the unfortunate event on that day. Until one day, driving home from work, I gave myself a metaphorical kick up the behind, as I released I’d lived the past years on a pause button. For those five years I’d felt permanently tired, why? Because not only was I trying to get on with my daily life. I’d been tormenting myself with the ‘what could’ have been. Once free of those shackles of the past, I found my energy levels soared. I started to learn to live for the moment. Baby steps. In fact my first step was to train as a personal trainer and sports massage therapist. I had found that zing in me by releasing those chains of steel that were holding me back. How can you start to break those chains? · Look at all the things you can do right now – It might be five minutes of gardening or walking today, then make it six minutes tomorrow. After two weeks you’re a third of the way to an hour. Baby steps, no looking back at the “what ifs” · Write a letter to all those nemeses of the past. Write it a letter, with words or even a picture. Then “let it go’. You can burn it, shred and bury it. Or plant it under a tree. · Be grateful for everything you have, your uniqueness is your best asset. As the saying goes ‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken’. I learnt it was ok to be me again just as I am, not the ‘what was’ from the past. I’m even part bionic now! In my next blog find out how I faced the bullies including the one who used to stare back at me in the mirror. I was at an event in Brighton the other day with Prem Rawat, an individual who travels around the world talking about the possibility of personal peace.
Now I confess I only went to support my friend who to me has been a rock as I learn about me but I support making the world a kinder place one person at a time. I have a habit, in a room full of people, of listening to those around me as well as listening to the speaker. I watched them interact remotely with him. I saw people laughing and then stopping because they thought they shouldn’t, even nod and agree with confused looks on their faces. Prem Rawat told a story but within that story was a message. One of the quotes he used was ‘monkey see, monkey do’. Which was exactly what I suspect he was observing the audience doing. I find him extremely inspirational but as his message says, I have never been one that felt the need to follow the crowd or write the same sentence as everyone else. He talked about storytelling and how as youngsters we learn to make things up to get ourselves out of trouble. Maybe that’s where my storytelling became who I am now. I was always a terrible liar; so I found it easier just own up to it, tell the truth. Storytelling is an important part of my work as a hypnotherapist helping others to unravel their true story within them through pages, maybe even chapters of their lives. Are you ready to become your own storyteller? Are you ready to tell your story no holds barred? |
AuthorBecky lives in West Sussex, UK and is a Therapist using hypnosis, Psy-TaP, Kinetic Shift and Mindscaping. Please feel free to explore the website to learn more about her. Archives
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